[COLOR="Red"][B][SIZE="4"]NEWS FLASH ....[/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

[B][COLOR="Blue"]*****PET CHRONICAL - BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT
Tuesday 12 August 2008
Reporter: Verbyllis Waffle [/COLOR][/B]

Only two days following the sensational story in which details were given of the birth of a baby boy born to Beryl the Peril, named Tantō 短刀 by his Owner Mother Mischa and the ensuing row concerning the Paternity of the child in which Cavepet disputes being the father was released by *****Pet Chronical's Chief reporter Verbyllis Waffle, an urgent message was received by the newspapers Printing Press, Scribble & Scribe to [B][COLOR="red"]STOP THE PRESS![/COLOR][/B] for a new front page scoop entitled:

[B][COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]BERYL THE PERIL DOES IT AGAIN ![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]

Public favourite roving reporter Verbyllis Waffle was contacted by an unamed individual earlier today who refused to give their name but confirmed being employed by *****Pet General Hospital, met at a secret rendevous.

The hospital employee met Verbyllis Waffle at [I]T-Bags[/I] a popular tea shop, heavily disguised as a Midwife and gave the following astonishing rendition of events earlier that morning.

"We received a call from a Flying Paramedic Unit saying they were rushing Beryl the Peril back to the Maternity Unit and to get the Delivery Suite ready ETA 5 minutes.

We suspected complications had occured following her self-discharge after the difficult delivery she'd experienced. Despite having been strongly advised to remain at the hospital, Beryl the Peril had insisted she go home to her owner Shazzababie following the row that had erupted between her and Cavepet.

But ... continued the nervous Midwife wringing her hands in aggitation ... we weren't prepared at all for what happened next.

We heard the sirens a mile off ... she continued ... the Flying Paramedic Unit screached to a halt outside *****Pet's General Hospital A&E Unit where they were met by a waiting trolley. It was Beryl the Peril and she was in a great deal of pain and screaming:

"I'll never go near another man as long as I live".

Beryl the Peril was screaming blue murder and we were about to sedate her when the tea lady, Mrs Overall smacked her one to shut her up. It's not normal hospital practise but she was making one hell of a racket. Anyway, she wacked poor Beryl the Peril so hard that she flew off the trolley and straight into the Birthing Pool. We hadn't been expecting any deliveries for days so the pool wasn't heated and we heard the ice break as Beryl fell through it. Well ... continued the Midwife in a low hissing voice furtively glancing around her all the time ... We really thought we'd lost her as we watched her sink to the bottom. None of us could swim and the doctor said sod if he was going to jump into that ice bucket and ruin his Armani suit and Rolex watch. We just went numb really, don't know how long poor Beryl was under time sort of stood still until someone shouted get the fecking grappling hook and fish her out.

Yer never believe what we found when we did ... the heavily disguised anonymous employee from *****Pet General Hospital dressed as a Midwife said with a huge grin ...

[B]Beryl the Peril had only given birth to another baby boy the spittin image of the other lad she had on Sunday"[/B]

Intrepid Reporter Verbyllis Waffle continues the amazing story of events and confirms that having personally visited the Maternity Unit of *****Pet General Hospital and spoken to Mrs Overall the tea lady that Beryl had indeed DONE IT AGAIN!

The hospital records Register of Births Marriages and Deaths hold the following entry:

[B][COLOR="Blue"]Name: Katana 刀
Owner: Mischa
Gender: Male
Age: 0
Mother: Beryl the Peril
Father: Wocafookingsaurus II[/COLOR][/B]

Verbyllis Waffle was informed that Beryl the Peril's second son also takes after his Aracnid birth mother and could be his brother Tantō 短刀's twin and just as with Cavepet, the second son bears no resemblance whatsoever to his father Wocafookingsaurus II who is a Boosh ! When contacted by Verbyllis Waffle, Wocafookingsaurus II was unavailable for comment.

Jeremy Kyle's team was contacted by Verbyllis Waffle and suggested they do another DNA and Lie Detector test to establish the paternity of the second son and avoid a further row erupting between the two fathers of the identical boys. Jeremy Kyle stated this could only be requested by Wocafookingsaurus II and so far no such request had been received. Should such a request be received in the future he would of course let *****Pet Chronical know. He commented that he personally believes that Beryl the Peril has a secret third lover of Aracnid origin whom Beryl the Peril refuses to disclose the name of.

Owner Mother Shazzababie to Beryl the Peril, repeated to reporter Verbyllis Waffle what she'd told Owner Mother Mischa concerning the paternity of baby Tantō 短刀, that the same applies to Beryl the Peril's statement naming her second son's father as Wocafookingsaurus II.

[quote]my Beryl aint no burberry wearing, crack head, prozzy chav lol .... she dont need dna done her word is her bond !!![/quote]

Overjoyed Owner Mother Mischa has already collected her second adopted son and taken him home and told Verbyllis Waffle who contacted her for a statement that she wants it on record that she couldn't give a toss who the fathers of her adopted sons are. They both share the same mother and are true brothers.