No romance from my partner....Any ideas?

Hi girls.


Is there any reason why a women would lose her "drive" over the years....As i am experiencing now!

My partner is showing less and less affection by the month.

She only holds hands/cuddles etc when she is needy, or "feels ugly", as women do sometimes.?

Im not that bad looking...im 6'2, i work out, have a good job, dress cleanly.....a few people have told me i look like Bruce Willis? :-P beyond me. lol
But that said, im just lost at how somebody can love somebody "so much", yet, not realise where thier partner is feeling pushed aside?
Had the sit down conversation - nothing wrong/
Tried the classic - i didnt show affection to her for ages, not even holding hands - this seemed to suit her!!!

First year we were together - couldnt keep her hands off me - What is going on!!!

Help, as im having doubts, and lustful thoughts for others (f) .......Which in my book, is a bad thing!
Is this what Marraige is like? If so....im not sure i want it.


Eagle.

It's probably something you've done..... lol.... and of course she'd say there's nothing wrong - we expect men to know what's wrong without having to tell them!

On a more serious note, perhaps you could try being more romantic with her - silly things like leaving a post-it note somewhere you know she will see, telling her you love her... or cook her a nice meal one evening and set the table properly, TV off and have some nice music playing. The important thing is not to expect romantic gestures to lead to s ex, but to do them simply to make your partner happy... perhaps she's feeling insecure, or has suspicions you may be looking elsewhere etc... after a while, if you show her enough affection, she may feel comfortable enough to reciprocate.

Without knowing the people, it's hard to advise.

Good luck

p.s. Nope, that's not always what marriage is like - I know lots of people who are still just as much in love after many years of marriage - 40 yrs for my parents and they still snog and hold hands in public... bleurrgghhh lol

[roobaby]

Hmmmm tricky! I suggest that you both embrace your 'inner child' - do something childish together, like, go climb a tree, play in a toy store, go play frisbee, jump on beds, laugh until tears roll down your cheeks, have a food fight etc. You don't say how long you've been married or if you have kids but in my opinion life is tough so you have to find ways of being carefree to counter all the serious stuff. Remember what it was like when you rode your bike down a hill really fast and squealed with delight? Forget the romance thing for awhile, do something which is fun at least once a week. Lead by example, show that your happy and try not to worry too much about being 'grown up and sensible' all the time. (I'm off now to get the water pistols dusted down for a face-off tonight!)

Climb a tree? hehe.... unfortunatly, she is not the spoty/mobile type!

Well, thanks for the replies.......i agree, without knowing the people its hard to judge.
I laughed out loud when you mentioned the meal, the notes under the pillow, the "i love you's"... Iv DONE THEM ALL!! ;-)

And not just for an occasion......quite often!
Candle lit the whole sha-bam!

I personally think, its just the way she is.......And i have some thinking to do.


Thank you for serious comments.

And one more note...... There is nothing "old" about us... we are always giggling and laughing, playing games, going out, doing anything we want to do..... Did i mention - no kids, no marraige, we are only early 20's!!!!

[roobaby]

Oh! Difficult ages lol. Here's another suggestion, go abroad for a long week end somewhere where neither of you speak the language. You'd have to rely on each other then. But pack some comfort food in case you can't eat anything which doesn't look like sheep eyes or worse! Of course, it could end up in one big cat fight, but that has its advantages sometimes, wink wink, nudge nudge!

[roobaby]

And if you're not married then you do have to do some thinking. Maybe she isn't 'the one' and it is better to figure that out sooner rather than later, how ever difficult that decision might be

[sukisue]

maybe she as got another on her mind and cant respond to u i dont no but something aint rightif u are both only in ya 20s hope ya sort it

Hi eagle

your in your early 20s not married no kids!!

You have had the seat down talk, you have been romantic, she is willing to only hold hands and cuddle is playful but not interested,,,umm

Have you been really listening and watching her?? for clues!!!

Is there any chance as bad as this may sound there could be someone else??,,, Going away to a distant land and not knowing the language sounds good,,, great way to uncover where you are at,,have you told her how you feel and how the lack of libido iis making you feel??

just some thoughts ,,,I hope it works out for you.

[pete8242]

if its dead its dead
you cant flog a dead horse
if its cold after a couple of years
think what it will be like after a few more
run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!