Why do some women just keep going back?

I'm over 60 years old and this subject has always puzzled me but I have never had a wide enough audience to ask until now.
I've asked 'er indoors but she is as perplexed as I am.
Why do women keep going back to men who beat them up?
Over the years that we have been together we have known 4 women like this. They are either in a long term relationship or married and some had kids and some didn't. On top of that, you read in the papers about how a woman was murdered by her partner and you read on about how he has hospitalised her several times in the past.
Why do they keep going back?
I mean to say, If I was a woman and my partner was thumping me I'd do him some damage while he slept and move out while HE spent a few days in the Men's Ward.
My wife and I thought at one time that it could be because the guy was hung like a donkey but even that wouldn't make up for regular beatings.

Any ideas?
Cheers m'dears.
Steve

[shazzababie]

my mum was one of these women and she eventually was killed due to domestic violence even after she ended up in a wheelchair he still beat her up and messed with her emotionally and physically resulting in her dying...

We had never been involved with anything like this before but now i am quite up to speed on this..

Ppl have all different reasons for staying they can be threatened that if they leave then their kids will be hurt, resulting in them being terrified to leave.
They can have a form of Stockholm syndrome wherein they become reliant on their abuser and are willing to forgive anything
They can be too proud too admit to anyone what is going on and belive it is their bed and they need to deal with it

Theres a multitude of reasons and even now I still ask myself why my mum never left that monster even after we begged her to move in with us...

The only thing I have learned from all of this is that if a woman is being abused no matter how much pressure u put on her to leave she will not do it until she feels able to, all u can do is be there for the abused person when they need you cos if you go on and on at them then they will stop confiding in you and u will be unable to help them as they will not contact you

Shaz

[sukisue]

yep i agree with shaz the more ya tell em to leave the longer they stay u just hope nowt happens as bad as it did for shazz mum god rest her sole at least she is now free and i cana never understand why women stay an keep goin bk cus i didnt i got out before he killed me or i did him some pain to is manhood or summat worse but hes got is comeuppance hes not long for this world due to his ilness an the quicker he goes the better

I have often asked myself if it is a "The Devil you know" sort of thing.
One thing is for sure.
There are billions of folk on this planet of ours and we all think differently. And what's more, most of us think that our way is the right way. It may be right for us but who is to say that it's right for all?
Take care if you are dancing nekkid in the meadows tonight. It's a bit nippy round the Trossachs.

[pete8242]

because love is a funny thing
sometimes we just cant help but miss things
even when theyre bad
maybe we get used to the situation and cant function outside of it

A lot of women who are in abusive relationships suffered abuse as children. It's the only life they know and without help it's very difficult to leave as they have very little, if any, self esteem.

i was in a abusive relationship and at the time i told myself and other it wascause i loved him but i can honsestly say that now its because he made me feel like i was nothing without him and so u believe this and stay with them. after a year of abussive including a very bad beating one fireworks night witnessed by passes by i got rid and finally pressed charges he did a 6 month sentance which was never enough for the constant abuse i suffered but i broke free and i think women just need to know they are something and u wont always feel lonely someone out there for all of us.

When you are abused you start to lose confidence in yourself very rapidly, till you are degraded so much that you even start to believe yourself that you deserve this, and that no one could ever love you. And that even though it hurts you, bad attention is better than no attention at all. (because you think that you will get no attention if you were alone).

It also has something to do with Stockholm syndrome as the previous poster explained.

I think the thought process would go something like this:
1. (initial shock) "why is he doing this to me? I thought he loved me."
2. (so shocking it must be true)"there must be something wrong with me because he is doing this to me."
3. (deteriorating self esteem) "i'm so lucky to have him at least because i have something wrong with me and no one else would even look at me."
4. (desperation) "if i lose him i will be alone."

[QUOTE=5tevie;61435]I'm over 60 years old and this subject has always puzzled me but I have never had a wide enough audience to ask until now.
I've asked 'er indoors but she is as perplexed as I am.
Why do women keep going back to men who beat them up?
Over the years that we have been together we have known 4 women like this. They are either in a long term relationship or married and some had kids and some didn't. On top of that, you read in the papers about how a woman was murdered by her partner and you read on about how he has hospitalised her several times in the past.
Why do they keep going back?
I mean to say, If I was a woman and my partner was thumping me I'd do him some damage while he slept and move out while HE spent a few days in the Men's Ward.
My wife and I thought at one time that it could be because the guy was hung like a donkey but even that wouldn't make up for regular beatings.

Any ideas?
Cheers m'dears.
Steve[/QUOTE]

Cos they all like a bad boy ... until they start getting to their sell by date is when they go for the good guys cos the badboys are off chasing the younger hotter versions.. the truth hurts

Wow Vic, a bad boy??? ffs, I can't spk for these women, man smacks me I'm gonna hit bk and show them the road. I've even known women to go to lengths to protect these men, fact is,I think their just too scared of being on their own.