Another question that I have often pondered on when bored.

How come that when you hear stories about a relationship that is on the rocks and you get the story direct from the horses mouth, mare or stallion, one thing always seems to have happened?
The story of the decline will usually begin with one partner drinking to much followed by some domestic violence and then come money worries and all kinds of things that some couples can work through and some can't, but in way to many instances you hear those fateful words .......

"So we had another child to try to make us happier/ more responsible, etc etc"
What is it that makes a member of a partnership think that having a baby will miraculously solve all the drinking,beating and money worries?
I just don't get it.

[pete8242]

ive noticed a lot of your posts are on domestic violence and bad relationships
does your wife beat you?
go on you can tell us
we wont judge you lol

Yes, my wife DOES beat me, but only at Scrabble. She uses Scottish words I've never heard of.
We have a fairly happy relationship 99% of the time.
Like all couples we have the odd argument about all kinds of things but these arguments never come to blows or even any nasty comments. We just both go into a huff for 10 minutes and then one of us will say, "Do you want a brew?". If the answer is, "Yes, please" then the argument is over and done with. If the answer is "No, thank you" then a little more grovelling is required. Maybe a slice of cake or a biscuit. If it's REALLY serious, there's always a tub of Hagen Daas ice cream to fall back on as a sure fire winner.

To tell the truth, my posts are from the lives of others. 'er indoors goes to the Bingo once a week and she has a lot of pals there who confide their life stories to her. Maybe because she's the mother figure and maybe because they know that she takes no sh 1 t from anybody. So unless it's restricted to Bingo players, there's a lot of this stuff about.
Maybe we are just sheltered from hearing about it.

Cheers,
Steve

[sukisue]

in answer to the top above ? cus most couples are idiots an aint got a clue about life etc

[roobaby]

The question I ponder when bored is....... If you could include any animal in a football team, which animals would you include? I have pondered this on several occasions and even rang through to the FA to see if there were any rules bout not allowing animals in a team line up. Technically the rules refer to players, so as long as the animals can conform to all of the other rules it could be argued it is allowed.

I find this a better use of my pondering time. Human beings are far too complex to wonder they whys and what fors.

**Points to couch for Roobaby**

Tell me how you feel about Hippos. They can run fast and they kill more people in Africa than any other animal. As a bonus, they could hide the ball in their gob as they saunter towards the goal line?
But,after reading your case notes, I get the impression that your fascination with animals in football is all to do with your pondering if Roo ney is human or not.

It is human instinct that when thrown in a difficult situation, or one that has higher priority than other difficult situations, people will unite and stick together. They will work together for what they think is more important than themselves. That's why they choose to have a baby, they think that the importance of this baby will override all other existing problems. It's like drinking alcohol or binge eating, it's a way of distracting yourself from your problems, making you focus on something else.
It fails most of the time, and it's the definite wrong way to go, it's no way to bring a child into this world. Arguing is very normal in a relationship, people argue because they are sensitive to each other, because they care about each other. Everyone has different relationships which work for them. Some couples communicate a LOT, and others are fine going through life more as companions.

Some answers in here are just stupid, ie. "because they are idiots".

yeah, I've noticed (not that I hang around couples a lot, but from what I can tell from people in general), that folk seem to have issues (I mean general pyschological issues, even if they are mentally insane) that they bring into relationships if they don't resolve them. It sounds complex, but say if you were used to people around you drinking, you find it more acceptable to drink- unless there's something telling you otherwise, then there's a possibility you won't drink so much, etc. Or, if you are used to being around christians that believe in chasity until marriage, then you'll find it more likely to want to wait until marriage, or even think about marriage as a future goal, because it's common in your environment.

It may sound silly, but it can work in a negative way too, and I'm not saying that everyone who is in a bad relationship has being around bad people all their life. I'm trying to say that those people may find it more *normal*, or *familiar* to live through those kinds of struggling relationships, and fail to recognise people who aren't up to no good. It's usually instinctive. Hence why people don't even realise that they choose the situation.

There's also people who may never have a completely secure home, either emotionally, financially or otherwise, and may decide to just have kids anyways to fulfil their dream of being a mum, and do their best to get by, hoping it will get better.

Sorry if what I said didn't make much sense, or that I've made any wrong assumptions about anything/anyone.

i know alot of mum's .... I have NEVER anyone of them say they tried to save their relationship with a baby! Also, alchohism ' abuse is not the only reason relationships break down & i'm ready for bed, so ill leave it at that'

We've all heard people saying "We've had another child to save the marriage (relationship) before.
Don't people realise children break up more relationships than they save!

Are people so stupid.............obviously yes.