Customer Reviews: Veet Hair Removal Gel for Men

16,136 of 16,224 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
By
Andrew - See all my reviews
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
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364 of 372 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sports Performance Bonus, 24 April 2012
By
Tagnutt Mandeville - See all my reviews
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat. He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my **** eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffins-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team.

5 Stars from me.
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216 of 222 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good results at first interrogation, 25 April 2012
By
Mr. H. A. Outhwaite - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus
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248 of 259 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not For Your Crack, 13 April 2012
By
RicardoIron - See all my reviews
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
First off this is a pretty good product. My wife got a couple of tubes for me so I could do my chest and back (I swim lots so smooth body is a must). This was all well and good and the product did the job as stated.

The problem came when we decided to baldify my arse crack. Oh my god, bloody hell what a mistake. The first sensation was of a nice chilled feeling between my bottom cheeks, kind of like sitting down in wet grass. All well and good. Then I hit the shower, it was like a vindaloo had been poured between my arse cheeks, while I was getting a severe wedgie. To say it was agony is an understatement, I was howling. Even today (4 days after the event) I can't walk properly or sit on my bike.

All I have to say is leave your sack and crack to the experts and don't smear this burning lube anywhere down below. Keep it to your chest, arms, back and legs and all will be fine.
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180 of 188 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Searing Pain, 20 April 2012
By
LondonSackBurn - See all my reviews
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Not since Steve McQueen entered the 'Towering Inferno' has a human object burnt so intensely.

I applied the cream to my spuds and within 24 seconds my orbs were throbbing.

Imagine being dragged naked down the autobahn in Germany behind an F1 car. That is exactly how my seed sack felt.

On the plus side, my nuts are totally foliage-free. On the down side Ill never be a Father.
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[misslipsy]

So how many of u guys are gonna admit to trying it

[shazzababie]

read these in work yesterday on a link sum1 sent me and couldnt work for half an hr due to me being convulsed with laughter..... best funny in ages xx

[tommysize1]

i had some put on my eyebrows while i was asleep.
i woke up and everyone said "ur eyebrows r falling out!"
so i then pulled my own eyebrows out thinking "wtf?"
bastards