Kickboxing.... aka Torture

For the love of god - who invented this torture? lol

I went to my first kickboxing class last night.... it was perhaps a little foolish to think that just because I've lost a load of weight, I'd be capable of doing such a strenuous form of exercise... lol

So - I turned up early, feeling slightly anxious - and had to sit and watch 20 mins of advanced karate class. If that ain't enough to put the frighteners on a beginner, I dunno what is!

"... we'll start with some warm up exercises..." - 20 minutes later and I wasn't just warm, I was in need of an ambulance. "Warm up" consisted of 20 minutes of non-stop crunches, sit ups, leg curl things, running, bouncing on the spot, star jumps, stridey swappy things, press ups and god knows what else... my memory switched off after about 12 minutes, much as it does when you endure a horrific car crash for example.

So... after 20 minutes of living hell, then began the true test of my capabilities... could I coordinate my arms and legs in rapid sequence, without falling over. The answer - no. Actually, that's not strictly true - I didn't fall over, I just stumbled about the mat like a drunken weeble, trying not to kick my sparring partner in the nether regions and trying even harder not to knock over anyone else who was unfortunate enough to be in my stumbling space.

"... we're going to do an easy combination now..." - hmmm a combination of four simple moves... sounds ok so far... even sounds ok when you do each one individually. Unfortunately, when one tries to combine all four in quick succession - aiming all four moves at a small pad the size of a golf ball (ok a bit bigger than that lol) - it simply results in me looking like I'm having an epileptic fit.

If anybody on here knows kickboxing, please explain to me the purpose of an axe kick in a real life self defence situation... surely the only person you could use that move on is a dwarf or a small child?? Even the instructor (a 4th dan black belt) was only able to do it at abdomen height. Oh well... I guess it's irrelevant.... the point is, I virtually dislocated my hips doing the combo with that kick in it!

So an hour later, I bow off the mat shouting "uus" with glee at the thought of sparking up a ciggie as soon as I left the building. Unfortunately I then had to walk home, clothes sticking to me with sweat, hunched over like an 80 year old, wondering why I didn't just book myself a session with a sadistic S&M Master instead lol

And here we are today... a whole 22 hours after I stumbled out of the academy... and still groaning in pain every time I move.

So the question is.. am I gonna go again? Yeah - in about a month, when I've recovered from my first class lol.

(elefant is trying to do an axe kick, but getting it wrong)

[shazzababie]

lmfao.... i laffed so much i cried and wee'd myself babes soz !!!!

I even read it to Billy so he could have a laff at you as well !!

Good on ya tho .... but am sticking to salsa !!

lol s'ok shaz - everyone else that I've told about it has laffed their asses off too.... I would laugh as well, if it didn't hurt my stomach so much!

Going for a soak in a radox bath now, then might come back and visit chat, sat on a cushion and not getting up till bedtime lol

[sukisue]

hahaha bet the elephant did better than you keep it up boo ya never no wen ya might need to kick the elephant pmsl

You so have to come visit me baker...i have my very own kick boxing bag hung un my out house. So much better than going to classes, you can make half assed attempts at kicking....and not look a pleb when ya red faced after lifting ya legs only 4 times

[QUOTE=wednesday;51154]You so have to come visit me baker...i have my very own kick boxing bag hung un my out house. So much better than going to classes, you can make half assed attempts at kicking....and not look a pleb when ya red faced after lifting ya legs only 4 times[/QUOTE]

I'm on me way.... put the kettle on! lol

[sultry]

u have no idea how funny u are...i can actually picture u there....classic

[QUOTE=Bakerboo;51215]I'm on me way.... put the kettle on! lol[/QUOTE]

quality.....we can have a cuppa , then ill find me first aid kit out in advance,

ave u got a stretcher wedz?