Asking for an advice

Hi All
I am in a funny situation - my husband has a friend whose wife i cannot stand - she is a sort of person who doesn't make conversation but just talks at people, who talks a lot but is completely boring, who talks about herself all the time and has very "common" ways and is sometimes embarrassing. They don't live far from us and we used to go out for dinners once a month or so. Recently the friend's wife got even worse and started ignoring me at the table, I.e. Not even looking at me when she was talking, which I found very rude. I told my husband that I didn't want to meet them again, I've never really enjoyed their company and never built a friendship with any of them and if it wasn't for my husband I wouldn't meet them at all. Now, we havent seen them for about 6 months but the friend keeps asking my husband to go out for dinner and my husband decided to talk to him and explain the situation. I think that they may come to see me and apologise or to try to explain it, which will be difficult because I would like to tell them that I dont want to see them anyway but i wouldn't like to do it - does it make sense?
What would you do in my place? Maybe I shouldn't have said to my husband that I didn't want to see them again?
Many thanks for any opinions & advice!

[roobaby]

hmmm, a tricky one. I would meet the husband and wife and ask the wife if she has a problem with you as when you go out you feel that she is ignoring you. She may not even realise she is doing it! You need to stay perfectly calm when you have this conversation. I always think that it is better to have things out in the open. Then, when you have dinner again and she starts to ignore you, just point it out to her....."Oi! You're doing it again! You're ignoring me!" You really can't do much about her personality, but at least you can make your feelings known.

Thanks for this.
Yes I agree with you and in most situations that would be the case, but here I'm wondering if it's worth it? After all if I don't enjoy myself in someone's company, we have nothing in common, and they are completely not my type of people. To top it off they are terribly tight and we always finish by paying most of the bill when we go out. If it wasn't for my husband I wouldnt worry about it.

[pete8242]

some females just dont get on with other females
her husband probably allready knows this and wont be shocked....perhaps he wants her to be more social with other females and was using you and your hubby as a springboard.....either way stick to your guns dont put yourself back in that akward situation

[shazzababie]

i was in the same situation with my Bosses wife, it got so bad that when they visited us then i would spit in her coffee or bumcrack her mug.

It all escalated on a works night out when after yet another put down from her i exploded and asked her exactly what the problem was. She got nasty and i ended up leaving. When i went back to work on the Monday my boss was really apologetic and said that he had spoken to her and it turned out she was jealous of me for some daft reason. He said that he had never seen her behave so badly before and told me to expect an apology from her but i never got one. At least we never had to go out in their company anymore cos everyone was totally aware of the situation from then on...

I have moved jobs a few times since then however and when i emailed him asking for a reference i got a disgusting email back from her ranting to me about how much she hated me etc etc... i cut my losses and got a reference elsewhere and now i never hear from the nasty 25 stone ginger bitch

[roobaby]

I know I really shouldn't ask, but what is "bumcrack her mug" mean? lol

The other option of course is to let your husband go on the dinner dates by himself, but how would you feel about this? I still mainatin that it is better to face a situation head on rather than going over things in your head.

Shazzababie, what a terrible situation, but I'm glad it's behind you now! i was wondering whether the friends wife is jealous of me, like your boss' wife, she's also a bit of an elephant. It doesn't excuse her behaviour though.
Thanks All for your thoughts, I think I won't push myself and will do what my instinct is telling me - that is not seeing negative and "draining" people!
Have a good day!

[pete8242]

bumcracking her mug is basically wiping the top of the mug along the sweaty bit of the arse so when she has a drink shes actually getting sweaty arse as well as coffee.........omfg im never drinking tea round shazzas ever again lol

[shazzababie]

u wuld be fine Pete babes... I only do it to ppl who really pis me off

[pete8242]

[QUOTE=shazzababie;60570]u wuld be fine Pete babes... I only do it to ppl who really pis me off [/QUOTE]

your ugly and smell of kippers.....your breath is like an arabs armpit......youve got soup in your beard from nasal hair and you have bunions on your nose

2 sugars and coo juice plz shazza lol