Found hubby out bigtime

Found out wed that hubby of 24yrs has been sending msgs & pics on a gay website. In his tranny clothes.
I have got a new sim for my phone & have contacted him under a diff name & he has responded.

I'm now unsure where to go from here. I want to know how far he would actually go, as much for my own health as anything.

I have a teenage daughter and am thinking of leaving or throwing him out but I don't have a very good network of friends & have nowhere to go.

any advice?

[roobaby]

People run the risk of opening up Pandora's Box when they go around checking partner's emails, text messages etc. Quite often it's because the couples in question aren't communicating with each other, or have stopped communicating with each other. Obviously you thought that something was up otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did, but I do think what you did with the SIM card thing was also sneaky. Why didn't you confront him with it instead of sneaking about just as he did? Of course, confronting your husband would have meant to own up that you didn't trust him and that might have been difficult. But life is difficult so it's better to have things out in the open rather than continually living in a state of mistrust.

The long and short of it is that eventually you both would have had to confronted the situation. Don't be too ready to judge his actions, though I do have some sympathy with you because it must have come as a shock.

So, what to do? You have no choice but to tell him that you know about his 'secret', and listen to his explanation. You can't really make any decisions until you have both had this discussion Listen to what he says, try to understand why he did what he did and then consider the various options and move on from there. There are two people in this relationship and both sides of the situation need to be taken into account. You never know, he might be relieved that you know.

[pete8242]

lots of men like dressing up in wimens clothes
and most hide it for years
hes probably been hiding it for years out of love and respect for his family
he might not be gay just wanting some sort of feedback or confirmation on his secret
i think roos right
confront him talk about it
see what it is before you jump to conclusions

[shazzababie]

you definately need to find out far he would go ... i wouldnt be able to rest until i found out the full extent of what he has been up to.

I would stick with the secret fone and texts and see how far he takes it then if you arrange to meet you can turn up instead... you have obviously had your doubts about him hence checking up on him so u need to follow this the whole way thru.

As for not having a wide netwrok of friends - come in here and chat to us anytime x

well roobaby i think spending £70 for one pair of boots on a joint cc was a bit much. i never said i didnt know about the cross dressing, i have known for years & even went to a club with him to join in but he made it obvious he didnt want me there. as for his being relieved i very much doubt it.

thanks shazzababie, the cross dressing was kept a secret till we were marrid for 1 yr so i have known bout it. the sending of txts, photos & video to all & sundry is not so good, anyone could get hold of them as i found some photos on the web. trust should go both ways, i trusted him with the dressing & he has betrayed that trust.I have made contact with one of his "friends" and am going to wait & see how this goes.

[shazzababie]

good luck and keep us posted x