Sneakiness?

[roobaby]

Do you look at your partner's text messages or emails without him/her knowing?

I've just got off the phone to a friend who says its the only way she can keep tabs on her husband. Call me old fashioned or even naive (wouldn't be the first time!) but I don't think I would do something like that, but maybe it is acceptable behaviour? Answers on a postcard.

I've never done this and I don't think I could bring myself to... I'd hate anyone else nosing through my private messages, even if I don't have anything to hide. I rely on my instincts and trust, rather than sneakiness. Imho if you don't trust someone enough without sneaking through their texts/emails to find out what they're doing (or not) then the relationship is wrong already.

I could never do that, I mean where is the respect and love for the person you are with as well as the trust. If you suspect the partner you are with then you need to reevaluate the relationship. I know that there are occasions that partners cheat, but it would be awful to be in any kind of relationship where there is no trust. I would hate for anyone to d that to me,so I would never do it.

I think that too much paranoia in a relationship is as awful as them actually cheating.

If there was a real reason to believe they were up to something, then I would ask them outright, and would probably end things if I didn't feel I could trust them. Just because I know it would niggle me, and make my behaviour worse. But then, I'm accutely strict about flirting myself, and will not (deliberately) lead anyone on if I was with or interested in someone else. I know a lot of people aren't or wouldn't want to be like that.

But I think it's strange for people to be secretive about things, or to consider cheating. Surely it's better to be honest and find an open relationship if that's all you will commit to?

p.s. There's somewhere I read that if you keep looking for something, sooner or later you get what you're looking for. It may end up that their paranoia drives the other person to cheat in the end.

well to be honest i've done it twice in my life
once with an ex fiance who had actually cheated on me many times
and second time when me and rich had a really big falling out and i did it to see if he had texted another girl (paranoia from my previous relationship) thankfully he hadnt and i told him what i had done and never done it since and it's the only time ive regretted looking at his phone
but i dont regret doing it on my ex

[QUOTE=mystkat;61478]well to be honest i've done it twice in my life
once with an ex fiance who had actually cheated on me many times
and second time when me and rich had a really big falling out and i did it to see if he had texted another girl (paranoia from my previous relationship) thankfully he hadnt and i told him what i had done and never done it since and it's the only time ive regretted looking at his phone
but i dont regret doing it on my ex[/QUOTE]

ahh but you got honest with him about it after. I bet that made the difference.

[Wordsworth]

well, anyone is welcome to look through my phone, as no fecker texts me anyway. All my inbox messages are off friggin vodafone or those 88888 number things. oh i tell a lie my friend text me once to ask if id lend him fifty quid haha.
I wonder can you text yourself??? hmm ill give it a go

[Forger]

I'll text you if you cover the cost lol.

[Wordsworth]

ahhhh ive had a text....wow!

from a certain female user on this site hmmmmmm ( You know who you are) :P