i need someone's help!!??

i am a 23 yr old .... nice guy, studying medicine .. in the 6th yr, my father owns a hospital, i am kinda rich!!,..not very but kinda, and i am rather handsome or so i am told...my father ..i am half Italian, half Egyptian... living in Egypt
my life went upside down in 2003 when my mom died i was still 16 back then.... and its a crushing experience especially when ur mom is the person who manages everything, and she was an angel (god bless ur soul ) life went like mess for 2 yrs or so but still i managed to survive and get the grades enough to get a scholar ship in some fancy uni. , then my father got married, his wife was kinda cool, but this phase was a real turning point for me, she had a daughter and a son, which both became very dear to me and i loved them both very dearly, of course the plan was to marry the girl, and the son was already as my brother, things went nice till exactly 8 month ago, or less i don't exactly remember....
i found out the girl who i loved crazy and spilled all the emptiness the death of mom had on me in her frame which i adored and still to this point i sometime dream of her, i found out she was cheating on me, for 6 yrs played me like a fool... all the things i did to her , anything i ever did was bringing my tail just a bit taller, i was a fool, fooled by love betrayed by her....that was really quite a bad experience...
my father who being a total asshole at that point , was really messing with his wife, i mean the woman literally fell apart, she had almost all the illnesses a person can get from hypertension, to a near stroke incidence, lol, my father is really a weird character, he is a very kind but very peevish VERY, almost all of my life i seen him only shouting , rarely did i c him laughing or really happy, that kind of person who always manages to find some kind of threat that will destroys us all and always says i am the captain of this boat and the ship is sinking, these kinda of weird expressions, which i was raised on, so to some extent i kinda never really felt secure, thu i am very self confident, and would probably empress any audience, but my father some times really gets me down, he is that kind i don't blame him, i kinda got used to that and gained some flexibility along, i can mingle anywhere, .... anyway back to the thing... she asked for divorce , i totally stood by her side cuz it was the fair thing to do, my father accused me that i betrayed him by standing by her side...and made this big distance between us, as if i stabbed him, he is very dramatic... i say again he is very kind and he is pediatrician, so he looks like an old baby... he acts like that too....
anyways i stood by the wife's request and it happened even thu i knew that her daughter cheated on me and with a very very broken heart i still helped her, anyway after the divorce.. everything was cut off
except with her brother, who was still my firend, anyway i was really depressed back then and started doing drugs like crazy ... me and my friend of course who showed me the way, since 2 yrs now i've been smoking weed, doing cocaine sometimes, i was messed up, i didn't fail thu, of course my GPA fell to the the ground and now i have to pay, which isn't really an issue ...
i quite everything 3 month ago... straightened my self up, and was doing fine till suddenly a week or so ago... I TOTALLY FELT NUMP , i felt like what was the **** am i doing, i sleep most of my day, i don't feel anything...i don't know why?
i want to finish my degree and leave everything behind , that feeling when u feel u r fed up with life, and want to change ... start new... i really feel like i am getting a depression once again.... i had many girl friends.. went almost every where, lived it to the full as some might say, but now i feel empty... it that fine is that normal... i can't really expalin i hope someone out there please get what i am saying and tell me what can i do, should i leave a full planned luxury guaranteed life, or what i am really starting to feel i am not a human no love no guilt i go to college i go to work i go home i sleep everything is nump ...PLZ sum1 i need help

[tommysize1]

yeah sounds messed up.
still at least you had money to go with all the mental anguish.

you might like a film called "into the wild"

its about someone from a rich background who gave everything up(true story too)

all you can do is look at what others have done. then decide what to do.

good luck dude