any advice stay or go? -

Ive been with my partner for over 4 years now and we have lived together for more than 3 of those. We are both divorced I have 3 kids, 2 older and a 15 yr old he has a 13 and 16 yr old who live with their mum. I have been having doubts about the relationship for some time now. We argue a lot and he is a selfish man who can be cold and heartless. We went to counselling last year mainly because i felt unloved as there was no affection unless i initiated it and he was completely unable to prioritise any time for me or our relationship. It wasnt always like this in fact i often say that we were better when living apart as we made time for each other and that time was protected. Now we do little together.
Things have really upset me this weekend. I had to go out for the day on Sunday. My eldest son was working but my 15 yr old son stayed at home with my partner. When i got home early evening i found out that my son had not had any dinner. When I asked my partner he told me that he had eaten but hadnt offered my son a meal. I couldnt believe it .My partner admitted that he would not do this to his own children ( who by the way are lazy and do nothing when with us!). I know my son is 15 and capable of getting himself something but for my partner to make a meal just for himself and not offer any to my son seemed to me out of order. I pointed out that I would have expected him to at least ask my son if he wanted anything after all I would do so for his kids. He moaned that my son had been on computer all day and was lazy. Still i said you were looking after him i would expect you to feed him. We rowed because i felt it was selfish he just blamed both my sons for being lazy.
I am shocked by this and now feel i dont want to leave my son alone with him. He was completely indifferent to my sons needs. I know hes not a baby but teenagers need asking to do something its no good just moaning they dont do anything you have to ask them to!
Am I overreacting? It seems to me this just fits into the bigger picture of my partners overall selfishness.
I am angry and upset I would expect him to treat my child just as he would his own

[shazzababie]

i dont think you are over reacting, ur in a relationship so all kids shuld be treated equally ... to be honest i think its bang out of order he never asked if ur son wanted any dinner in either a parental capacity or just basic manners..

U are obviously having ur doubts if you need to ask us about your relationship, I cant tell you what to do but all I will say is you sound unhappy and lets face it you only get one shot at life so you deserve to be happy

Good luck in whatever decision you come to x

thanks Shazza
Its good to hear someone else say im not overreacting! You are right also that life is too short......
x

[roobaby]

If you have had counselling and things are still horrible then it is probably time to call it a day. Some people just aren't suited to living with each other. If, as you say, you were happier living apart then maybe that's the way to go, however I couldn't be connected with anyone who sucked the life from me so maybe you will need to start out anew.

Kick him into touch JT63, he won't change.

[Midnight10101]

Your far from over- reacting, in all honesty i think you know the answer yourself if he cannot even ask his partners child if he is wanting something to eat then thats wrong. I get your sons 15 but it shouldnt matter if he was 15 or 35 hes still your son and he should be treating him like he treats his own kids.