Dating after divorce

This is my first post, so be gentle with me please. I am 43 and the mother of three. My oldest is out and on his own, but my younger two (17 and 12) are still at home.
I got married at 20 and was married to my ex for 21 years, together 22 years.
I am the one who filed for divorce and I know it was the right thing to do, however.......
I didn't remember how harsh dating can be.
21 years in a marriage, I was faithful and did my best, but after 15 years found out my ex had been lying to me the whole time. I hung on another 6 years for all the wrong reasons and finally ended it because there was no trusting him again.
Needless to say, my heart is fragile.
We have been divorced for a year and a half now and I've been trying to date, but it's hard.
I have primary custody of my children, there's homework, housework, bills, etc.
Men don't seem to be very understanding that I can't just up and go out during the week without having to watch the clock.
I prefer to go out on weekends so I can relax and enjoy myself.
So far, I've only tried online dating. This has NOT gone well. Men are either married and want a fling and lying about being married, nut jobs or clingy/needy types that push me too far too fast.
I think I should give up the online thing, but how do I meet a decent man?
Bars are dicey, I don't hear well and having a conversation in a loud bar is almost impossible for me, not to mention, my guard is up, I don't want to be used.
How do I learn to trust again and where can I meet a decent man?
Any advice you have is greatly appreciated.

[tommysize1]

**** lonely hearts ****.
u wanna meet people and make new friends?
take up classes!
you got sports....badminton is easy
or try learning a language at ur local college.
stuff like that.
at least then you got somethin you can talk about other than your kids

hope that helps

[roobaby]

Maybe you just need a bit more time feeling comfortable with being single and enjoying the company of friends and family. 'Dating' is hard at any time, so perhaps you need to focus on developing a social network first. Tommy's suggestions are good (never thought I would find myself typing those words, joking Tommy!) and you might be surprised how much you enjoy the experiences. As for learning to trust again, you should perhaps work on developing your own confidence having been let down in your marriage. Your abilty to trust is probably still there, it's just a bit battered at the moment.

[Ashley11]

first of all, never listen to Tommy, thats rule number 1 here. Badminton is HARD, the racket is tiny and you keep missing it

and you don't want to date a guy that plays badminton, honestly Tommy, think before you answer lol!

men are never understanding, even if you never had children.

The internet must SUCK if you wanna meet guys. Only weird or unsuspecting people who actually think they'll meet a normal person will ever use internet to date. You must be the latter

The best way if you don't like bars is too get a friend to ask one of their friends for like a blind date, then you know the guy will be ok-ish.

If you have to do classes at least do something fun, like surfing. Even if you cant do it (like me lol) its still fun. Its probably too cold to do surfing in England but something like that like curling. NOT badminton... under any cir***stances.

[QUOTE=Ashley11;69511]first of all, never listen to Tommy, thats rule number 1 here. Badminton is HARD, the racket is tiny and you keep missing it

and you don't want to date a guy that plays badminton, honestly Tommy, think before you answer lol!

men are never understanding, even if you never had children.

The internet must SUCK if you wanna meet guys. Only weird or unsuspecting people who actually think they'll meet a normal person will ever use internet to date. You must be the latter

The best way if you don't like bars is too get a friend to ask one of their friends for like a blind date, then you know the guy will be ok-ish.

If you have to do classes at least do something fun, like surfing. Even if you cant do it (like me lol) its still fun. Its probably too cold to do surfing in England but something like that like curling. NOT badminton... under any cir***stances.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Ahley, I think I'm going to stop the internet dating, it's just too dicey. I'm a smart person, you hear so much about matches online, I guess I fell for it. You don't know if you don't try. I am working on finding more friends and the ones I have are good friends. These things take time, so I just need to stop stressing about it and have faith that good things are to come for me.

hey. i know what not trusting anybody feels like even though i have no reason to not trust anybody. i see ur reason though. there r good guys somewhere in this world like me but we r just hard to find. my advice to u is to keep looking until u find someone who u like and makes u happy. thats what i did and i finally found the right person im just glad i did it before i got in my twenties.

[tommysize1]

doesn't matter if its internet dating or not.
everyone's a bit mad.

if u dont think so your either really boring or hiding something!

ashley? CURLING!? what planet are you from where curling is better than badminton? oh yeah canadia

hmmmmm
disregarding ashleys comments and focusing on roobaby's praise, while ignoring the OPs problem, i think i might start a website moonlighting as a professional lifestyle guru.

[Ashley11]

[QUOTE=tommysize1;69573]doesn't matter if its internet dating or not.
everyone's a bit mad.

if u dont think so your either really boring or hiding something!

ashley? CURLING!? what planet are you from where curling is better than badminton? oh yeah canadia

hmmmmm
disregarding ashleys comments and focusing on roobaby's praise, while ignoring the OPs problem, i think i might start a website moonlighting as a professional lifestyle guru.[/QUOTE]

people in UK play curling too!! Only weird people play badminton. It's only good if you like to pick up things

mad is not the same as weird. Not everyone is weird, but everyone who uses the internet to find dates, especially guys is.

[QUOTE=Ashley11;69595]people in UK play curling too!! Only weird people play badminton. It's only good if you like to pick up things

mad is not the same as weird. Not everyone is weird, but everyone who uses the internet to find dates, especially guys is.[/QUOTE]

im from the usa and i have played curling once. it was pretty fun. badmitton and the internet dating r weird ashley. i agree with you there

[sukisue]

if there are any good ones grab em fast pmsl