senior citizen

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN ..... ARE YOU?
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... With a hammer.
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I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
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I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
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I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
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I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
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I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as
Mine.
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I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental
Care.
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I'm not really grouchy,
I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly
Kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians
And a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.
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I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place,
Somewhere.
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I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
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I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......
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I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
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I'm sure they are making *****s much younger these days, and when did
They let kids become policemen?
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I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive
At 150?
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And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?
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I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the
Storeroom door.
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Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!