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Old 11-08-10, 08:16 AM
mortimergirl
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Talking speeding

A mature (over 60) lady gets pulled over for speeding....

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Can I see your license and registration please?
Older Woman: I'd give them to you but I don't have either.

Officer: Don't have them?
Older Woman: Lost my license 4 years ago for drunk driving. And I don't have a registration because I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!!!
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