Beer Dumbs You

Beer makes you dumb.

[pete8242]

[QUOTE=Michael Clifton;35881]Beer makes you dumb.[/QUOTE]

amen

[QUOTE=Michael Clifton;35881]Beer makes you dumb.[/QUOTE]

I Take it you dont drink then Michael [img]http://bestsmileys.com/drinks/4.gif[/img]

that's the whole point of drinking, michael.

in fact, i pour beer in my cereal for breakfast, and i have no...

..., what were we just talkin' 'bout?

__________________________

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

The beer drinker's prayer

Our beer
Which art in bottles
Hallowed by thy sport
Thy will be drunk...and I will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us each day our daily pint
And forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who spillest against us
And lead us not into the practice of poofy wine tasting
And deliver us from Tequila
For mine is the bitter
The talent and the footy
Forever and ever
Barmen.

Beer drinking

Whether one is "shipwrecked" or just plain "wrecked", perhaps the following words of wisdom might help one stay at or near the surface.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself lashed to the bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar

[QUOTE=starstruck;35905]I Take it you dont drink then Michael [img]http://bestsmileys.com/drinks/4.gif[/img][/QUOTE]....judging by some of the posts i take it he does !!!!!! pmsl

[QUOTE=Michael Clifton;35881]Beer makes you dumb.[/QUOTE]

Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Now wheres me pint ?

Noooooo Carling!! yummy

[shazzababie]

lol star xxxxxxxxxxx